summary written by claude.ai
The World Needs Mothering Right Now
I got together with my friend Jeannie Ewing this week for a live conversation on her Substack publication, Ghost Mother, and we talked about how our culture is starving for the kind of love that mothering brings into the world, and the women (and men) who are showing up with that energy right now are the quiet heroes.
Jeannie and I have a maternal connection that goes both ways. She held space for me over Zoom during the worst of the ICE surge in Minnesota, when the trauma was so raw I could barely think straight. And I helped her see that her essay about ghost mothering could become an entire community. We mother each other. That is the whole point.
Documenting the Quiet Heroes
I shared with her audience how my work on Fierce Love has evolved into documenting the stories of everyday ordinary women who are stepping up as helpers in the midst of all this collective pain. Every Tuesday I publish one of their completed stories, and every day I share a small excerpt as a Substack note. These women are anonymous. They do not want attention. They just want their stories told so other people can remember what love looks like when everything feels like it is falling apart.
Mothering Energy in Unexpected Places
We talked about Senator Andy Kim from New Jersey, because his energy is such a clear example of what mothering looks like in a public figure. After January 6th, he was photographed alone on the Capitol floor in the middle of the night, picking up debris, cleaning up the mess. And this week, he stood between ICE officers in riot gear and protesters outside the Delaney Detention Center with his hands up, trying to de-escalate. That is mothering energy. That is someone saying, I love this space and these people, and I want us to figure out how to come together.
Collective Trauma and the Healing Power of Oxytocin
Jeannie and I went deep into what collective trauma is doing to all of us right now. She sees it in Indiana, in the faces and body language of people at the grocery store and the doctor’s office. I see it everywhere in Minnesota. There is a grief that hangs in the air, and it is weighing people down. And one of the most important things I have learned through interviewing the women for my book is that love and trauma can exist in the same moment, and the presence of love actually decreases the impact of the trauma on the body.
I brought up the research on oxytocin, the hormone that floods a mother’s body when she gives birth. The baby rips you open and then lands on your chest, and suddenly you feel nothing except this enormous wave of connection and euphoria. That oxytocin goes straight to everything that is broken and starts healing it. And it gets released when someone touches you, when someone speaks to you calmly, when someone simply says, I am here. Jeannie connected this to the work of Peter Levine, who wrote about how the presence of a calm, nurturing person at the moment of trauma can change whether someone develops PTSD or processes through it.
Julia’s Story
I told the story of a teacher I am calling Julia, who delivers mutual aid to families from her school in Minneapolis. One night during the surge, she arrived at an apartment just blocks from a shooting, and the mother she was delivering to was having a panic attack. The father had already been taken by ICE. Julia held this woman and told her that 200 people in the neighborhood had provided the food she was carrying. That many people love you. And the teacher told me afterward that she needed that connection as much as the mother did. Sitting with her for three hours every delivery was reminding her of how beautiful humanity can be.
Just Show Up
Jeannie closed by saying something I want everyone to hear. You are the essence of love and light, and it does not matter what your circumstances look like right now. You do not have to perform or have it all figured out. You can simply show up with an open heart, moment to moment, and respond from a place of goodness. That is fierce love. That is what mothering looks like when the whole world needs it.
